Gender-hacking and the big picture consequences?
2010 5 Jun
I heard about Hack Gender (inspired by Hacking the Academy) earlier this week — both are awesome projects. But I don’t have time to write anything complicated, so this post is my own hasty contribution.
In my last post, Sexual Openness: 2 ways to encourage it, I wrote up some tips on how we can facilitate our own sexual evolution — to create an environment more likely to turn us on to new sexuality. Do those tips hold true for gender identity? I’d say so — my two big factors were a pressure-free environment and exposure to new conceptions of sexuality, sexual mentors, and sex education, and it sounds to me like those ideas easily port over to gender identity rather than sexuality. In fact, I suspect that I could replace all instances of “sex” or “sexuality” in that piece with “gender” or “gender identity”, and it’d work pretty well ….
But one thing that I wonder about gender-hacking is … well … much as we rail against restrictive and coercive definitions of gender — and while as a feminist I’m not only concerned with the limitations placed on women, but also try to be sensitive to men’s limitations — isn’t it strange that many of us who attack gender so violently also tend to play with its manifestations most passionately?
I mean, don’t get me wrong: I think it would be awesome if gender stereotypes stopped negatively influencing the way we hire people, make friends, treat lovers, and so on. But it’s also kind of awesome when, for example, drag queens dress way more femininely than I do. I love that kind of display; I love almost all subversive, or sexual, or just plain playful deliberate usage of gender ideas. I would be kind of sad if all gendered associations disappeared from the universe. I would be kind of sad if we so thoroughly encouraged gender-bending and gender evolution that gender distinctions blurred out of existence.
I’m not saying that my sadness is an argument against the destruction of gender. I understand and acknowledge that, sometimes, nostalgia is the enemy of necessary progress. I recognize that saying, “Well, drag queens are awesome and so maybe we shouldn’t try to destroy gender distinctions” could be as blind and flawed an argument as, say, the women who argued against women’s right to vote because “I like to convince my husband to vote the way I want him to.” I recognize that I could be making an argument similar to one that I’ve deconstructed about BDSM — an argument I hate that goes, “Let’s not destigmatize BDSM sexuality because I think it’s hot for S&M to be transgressive.” The fact that we can work within — and even enjoy — The System does not mean that The System is not fucked up.
Still ….
I’d like to believe that we can hold on to what’s beautiful, surprising, and hot about The System. Can we keep the stereotypes and have justice too? Is that possible? Or does the whole thing have to burn and be reborn? This question is probably academic, because it seems unlikely that it’s even possible to Destroy All Gender and make something new. My question is about utopia, and I tend to get pretty bored with these kinds of questions pretty fast — I like to think about actions we can take in our world, now. But I am sort of curious about whether utopia truly would be genderless, or whether it simply wouldn’t judge who wears femme nail polish and/or a man’s button-down collared shirt.
I apologize if anything I’ve written here offends LGBTQ readers or other gender warriors. I don’t often write about this — it’s sex that is my bag, really — and I hope that if I wrote something questionable here, you’ll let me know.
Tags: evolution, HackGender, LGBTQ
I don’t have much hope for a utopian future. Rome burnt and was reborn and now we have toga parties. Things can always get worse.
I sometimes think of people who are so critical of gender as though they are a group called Writers Against Words. Expressed thought is always going to be obscured by the cultural history of the words used. Down with words.
I don’t think of ‘hacking’ as destroying completely I think of it as hacking into, subverting, messing with. Having said that, if I had the choice of gender as it is with all the shit and some of the fun, or living without gender, I’d go for the latter. I think we’d find ways to make our own fun!
I actually have a t-shirt somewhere which I made up which says “stamp out nouns.” There is a particular back story to it, but it seems to apply here, especially to machina’s comment.
In gender utopia people would mix and match the characteristics which fit them, there would be no pressure to conform. But unless gender utopia stamped out all history, the accumulated knowledge and art and literature of the ages would make people aware of how gender had been done, so these would always play apart in people’s new constructions.
“play a part” not “play apart.”
(Or maybe both?)
Clarisse,
“isn’t it strange that many of us who attack gender so violently also tend to play with its manifestations most passionately?”
I don’t think that’s strange at all. I think this is actually quite natural. Because those who are able to play with it likely are much more aware of the restricting nature of gender and aren’t able to see the safety aspect provided by the structure that many others seem to need more.
I’d like to believe that we can hold on to what’s beautiful, surprising, and hot about The System. Can we keep the stereotypes and have justice too? Is that possible?
I don’t think so. The problem with a man choosing to into sports, guns, and beer or a woman choosing to be into sewing, romance novels, and wine isn’t that they chose them. The problem is that The System forces the idea that that man and woman MUST be into those things.
If said man and woman are into those things because they actually like them then there’s no problem but the expectation that they must be into them because of their gender is what must go.
This sounds interesting but the deadline is dangerously close and I don’t think I can come up with anything new in time (although I do have a few posts that may fit what they are looking for).
But unless gender utopia stamped out all history, the accumulated knowledge and art and literature of the ages would make people aware of how gender had been done, so these would always play a part in people’s new constructions. (from humbition)
Maybe, but it seems to me that what makes those constructions attractive is not so much history as our … triggers? Emotional investment? So if there is no emotional investment, if we don’t have a personal feeling for (say) pink nail polish as feminine, then is it going to be fun to mess around with feminine pink nail polish?
I totally see what you mean Clarisse, re: emotional investment. Thing is I don’t have much of an emotional investment in nail varnish or the usual ‘tropes’ of femininity. sometimes when I ‘sub’ or ‘bottom’ I feel I am ‘playing’ at that investment. I AM emotionally invested in gendered power. I do find that exciting, titillating in a kink context. But that is almost like a tiny ‘pay-off’ for the real traumas and assaults I have suffered within gendered power.
Sorry for all the ‘ ‘ s! It is a bad habit of mine!
I’ll go one step further than Quiet Riot Girl and say that hacking means “making it work better, in a DIY sort of way.” It doesn’t mean destroying and it doesn’t necessarily even mean subverting. Cf. the blog LifeHacker, which is about how to get more stuff done. (Not that I think hacking gender is about getting more gender done…)
Hi! I am emailing because we at Hackgender have decided to extend the project and open up an archive! The archive isn’t quite ready yet, but it will be for the relaunch on July 1st. Each month will have a theme, with the first month, July, having a theme of Personal Reflection. We encourage you to submit something or multiple somethings! The archive is not limited to the written word either so podcasts, images, video, etc are all acceptable and encouraged! We were wondering if it was ok to copy and paste your hackgender submission into the archive. As our early adopter, we would be happy to do this work for you so that your submission could be included in the archive. Please let us know if it is ok! We really want it! If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact us, Thanks! JJ and Ana
@deepforestowl — Responded by email. Have fun!
I’ll also go with Stef about hacking. “Hacks” on most games are ways to make it better- often putting in things you wish the game creators had put in. For example, on the Sims, popular hacks allow same-sex marriage or an easier way to get alien children (it makes sense to us). That doesn’t destroy the game or the basic tennants of it- it just makes it better for the player.
I think as long as there is gender, there’ll be associations with the individual genders that people can play with. The problem isn’t the associations- the problem is that right now, if a man isn’t masculine “enough” or a woman isn’t feminine “enough”, that’s viewed as socially unacceptable and even cause very big problems for the person.
perhaps there’s reason behind some of the traits we think of as “stereotypes.” perhaps a woman acting stereotypically “womanly” is something that is actually heartfelt, or of their nature/choosing. not necessarily imposed by such untrusted forces as the system. ?? this could be a hard idea to grasp for those who experience pressure and powerlessness, and to that my heart goes out.
although, I still question the assumption that the system is causal. that it is responsible for us and creates arbitrary norms and expectations.
I see gender qualities in a purely positive light. life is not possible without gender and its expression. so “abolish gender” seems useless terminology to me, other than being thought-provoking.
in the same sense, questioning the ideas we have about gender, (as we might question anything), seems to be a healthy and normal quest.
and, in nurturing these questions, how much deeper our understanding would become!
(I’m sorry if this was posted multiple times- I tried posting awhile ago and it just didn’t seem to take)
@Nicky-
There are women and men who are most comfortable displaying traits that do match their imposed gender role, certainly, but not all do. If all women naturally want to act “womanly” (feminine, want to marry a man and mother children, play with dolls, etc), we wouldn’t have doctors trying to justify treatment that prevents women from growing up to be “masculine”.
There are people for whom “manly” behaviors are most natural and comfortable, and many of these people are men in part or all of their gender. But there are also women and other people who are most comfortable exhibiting “manly” traits/behaviors and men who are most comfortable exhibiting “womanly” traits/behaviors- and in our current system, they’re treated badly for doing so. For the most part, genderqueer people don’t want to “abolish” gender, we just want to get rid of the FALSE ideas that:
A. gender is defined by your genitalia,
B. your gender determines how masculne/feminine/androgynous you are,
C. Everyone is either a man or a woman
D. People deserve being mistreated if they don’t fit into the above three,
E. it’s acceptable to perform unnecessary surgery on children and infants in order to “normalize” them. (because “normal” is more important than the emotional and even physical damage this can do to the child, as well as removing the ability of the individual to make their own decisions about their own body)
“life is not possible without gender and its expression.”
I’m not sure what you mean by this. Not only did life begin with asexually reproducing organisms, who are doing quite well for themselves, but getting rid of gender wouldn’t get rid of reproductive organs. It’d just change the way we think and talk about them. Right now we assume that ‘woman’ means “person with a uterus and ovaries”, but that’s offensive to many groups- including intersexed people, trans people, and cis women who’ve had a hysterectomy for whatever reason.
Transgendered, genderless, and asexual people can want kids (and people who are cisgendered and heterosexual can want nothing to do with them)- getting rid of gender won’t get rid of the desire to be a parent.
It will, most likely, open up more freedom of choice. People who don’t want children will (hopefully) be less pressured to have children just because “it’s normal”. At the same time, people who want children but are currently either not allowed to or have a very hard time doing so will be better able to have and care for children. And, yes, the system can make it very difficult for people who aren’t heterosexual or cisgendered to have children.
@chartreuse — I’m sorry your comment took so long! For some reason it was shunted straight to my Spam folder, so it took me a while to notice it. In the future, if you have trouble posting comments, please feel free to email me [ clarisse.thorn skibble gmail wibble com ].
You have done a good job at explaining some things.
my post was attempting to display an agreement with Clarisse’s statement “I would be kind of sad if all gendered associations disappeared from the universe.”
I think that gendered associations are important and additionally have meaning. so that might have been my point.
-
Now that I’ve clarified, I thought I’d touch on a couple parts of your response that I was curious about. (Only for my own sake/interest. it would take a while to respond, though I think you had fully valid points and I mean that).
you said “There are women and men who are most comfortable displaying traits that do match their imposed gender role.”
I assume by this, that you feel as though common gender roles are imposed. I wonder if this is really true, and in fact question it. I question it in the spirit of removing in my mind, the “dominator system.” Independent of the system, say before it existed; was there not human gender and human gender expression?
why do you feel that gender is imposed?
also,
you said “(feminine, want to marry a man and mother children, play with dolls, etc)”
are these genuine feminine qualities, or are they encompassed by “the system”/domination/imposition?
I would pose a general question, again, only for my own sake.
with utmost consideration for the sexes -
is there such a thing as genuine feminine qualities?
genuine masculine qualities?
that is, not contrived by others, but within us?
I certainly wonder!
Before the system existed- sexual reproduction didn’t. As long as there was sexual dymorphism, there’s been a difference in how the males and females of a species look and act (and this varies greatly across all species, even mammalian ones).
Those differences pervaded into society when it was first starting to be built up. And you can argue that these are natural- but the natural way of living when you’re back at hunter/gatherer stage is a heck of a lot different than the natural way of living when you’re following the latest in politics on your iPad while driving to work and sipping at Starbucks coffee.
How is gender NOT imposed?
When a baby comes out, the doctor not only slaps it to see if it’s breathing- they slap a label on it that is almost impossible to get off. That doctor doesn’t care if they just slapped a “female” on a little boy, or the amount of pain that little boy will go through trying to get rid of that label- yet it’s still treated as undeniable fact that overrides that little boy’s sense of self.
Children spend the time before they can talk or show preferences being showered with the right gender. “What a handsome little boy you are!” they’ll say about an assigned-male, “What a darling little girl!” about an assigned-female. Even if a parent wants to raise a child mroe “neutral”, they’ll almost definitely give the child an assigned-sex appropriate name and that does effect how people will treat the child, and correct people if they guess the child’s assigned-sex wrong.
And once they begin to show preferences- if they aren’t acceptable preferences, they get told so. Depending on how strict the parents, children can have “unacceptable” activities, like a boy wanting a barbie, literally beaten out of htem. As they grow up, the same thing happens. If they don’t fit what people expect them to be- schoolyard peers will tease them mercilessly about it, bullies are more likely to target them, and schools often turn a blind eye. Children are constantly exposed to how girls act and how boys act, then told which one they are (not asked, but told- and if that’s wrong, too bad for the kid) and expected to live up to that.
forgive me for taking this another step.
Yeah, there are certainly endless ways to feel pressured. pressure seems naturally a byproduct of the ‘dominator’ mentality, and is an icon of the fundamental distortion in our minds. the powerless, tethered, mechanistic, unrealized self/society.
I think you illustrated this well in your post, and it’s significant that you’re aware of it.
but it’s not the whole story, I mean it just isn’t.
I only say it isn’t, because I think sometimes when you look in to some one’s heart closely, there’s a lot of truth, and stuff that doesn’t come from the system. Your alarm clock pressures you to get up for work, but what of the magic elf people that march out from behind it before you have a chance to turn it off? or what if you then choose to peacefully fall back asleep? does that come from the system?
in the same spirit is my hypothesizing that there are ways to express our own authentic gender feelings. feelings that aren’t imposed or contrived or judgmental or harmful, but just associated with gender. does that sound possible?
Um…. yeah. I said that. “I think as long as there is gender, there’ll be associations with the individual genders that people can play with. The problem isn’t the associations- the problem is that right now, if a man isn’t masculine “enough” or a woman isn’t feminine “enough”, that’s viewed as socially unacceptable and even cause very big problems for the person.”
If you’re not being sarcastic- you may want to see a doctor about that. Or an exorcist.