The Sex+++ documentary film series premiere was last night! We showed the documentary “Kinsey” (2005), courtesy of The American Experience. I was completely thrilled by how well it went. We were reduced to standing room only during the film, and about 30 people stuck around for the discussion. Awesome!

I had a conversation over the weekend that reminded me of an incident with one of my exes that really highlights how strangely our culture thinks about consent, and how BDSM ideas of negotiation can work against that.

Apologies for the week of silence. The film series is starting next week, and that’s crazy! Also, my laptop was stolen on the Red Line.

Let my experience be a lesson to you: it happened as I was sitting on the El, working on my laptop, absorbed in what I was typing. I wouldn’t have done it on the platform, but I figured I was safe on the train. Not so! A gentleman passed me casually as we approached a station, then — as the doors opened — he seized my laptop right out of my lap and fled. I chased him out the doors, across the platform, up the stairs, and out of the station, but the miscreant escaped down Wentworth. The police thought I was so naïve for thinking a valuable object might be safe just because I was in actively using it on a moving train.

On the bright side, the Apple store people were super nice and helpful when I went to buy a new one. I love Apple! I told them all about the film series.

In the unlikely event that any of you folks encounter a 2004 white Mac laptop in any used computer dealings you may have …. It’s missing the tab key (and the little keyholder-things are broken, so that would be hard to replace); the top is covered in gold paint (though that might have been stripped by the thief). I am offering a reward for the laptop’s return, no questions asked, as long as it has my files on it. I hope whoever took it is easily shocked. Ha. Or maybe they’ll come away from my files with more understanding and tolerance of alternative sexuality … well, a girl can dream.

Yes, I’ve experienced the overall sex-negative messages that drench America, and they’re terrible — but enough is being said about those. I also received lots of sex-positive messages that are incomplete, or problematic, or don’t quite go the distance in helping us navigate sexuality — and I think the sex-positive movement must focus on fixing them.

Via Sex, Art and Politics, I have belatedly learned that today (well, yesterday now) — that is, Friday January 16 — was International Fetish Day!

I wish I’d come up with some clever celebration, but I didn’t know! — and now I’m all tired out from a long day that included, awesomely enough, Threat Level Queer Shorts. (The next Threat Level screening will be in March, and they’re super fun — don’t miss it!)

But here’s something I can offer you, gentle readers. One of the first files I organized when I started volunteering up at the Leather Archives was a file full of old Torture Garden fliers. The Torture Garden is one of the premier fetish clubs in the world — if not the premier fetish club — and I found some really incredible images in that box.

I’ve uploaded five flier scans to my Flickr account. Below are displayed small versions of two fliers I kinda like, but that aren’t much shocking. Below that, I link to larger versions, and also to the other three fliers — which are both prettier and far more scandalous! Be warned that the last two (“Milk Sex” and “Eyeball”) are particularly transgressive, and are probably not appropriate for all or even most audiences. So, seriously, don’t look at them unless you definitely like fetish imagery. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I was going to save these for a special occasion, but really, what could be more special than International Fetish Day?

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Flier scans

Explore sexuality in a new way by joining us for a series of films about positive sexuality and sexual identity. This free documentary series will create a new space to discuss sex, culture, and sexual fun! Each film will be accompanied by delicious snacks and followed by relevant conversation.

SEX POSITIVE
pro-SEX, pro-QUEER, pro-KINK

a free documentary film series for people who like sex
curated by Clarisse Thorn

OFFICIAL FILM LIST

“Anyone rash enough to accuse T. E. Lawrence of heterosexuality does so without the slightest trace of evidence. By the same token, anyone who denies that Lawrence was homosexual and a masochist does so by ignoring not only evidence but Lawrence himself.”

On the most basic level, “vanilla” is just a word the BDSM community uses to designate “people who are not into BDSM”, or “sex acts that are not BDSM-related”. For me, when I use the term “vanilla”, I don’t feel like I’m insulting “vanilla people”. They’re vanilla; I’m not. Some people are gay; I’m not. We’re all friends here. … Which makes me feel a little puzzled, when some vanilla people feel bothered by the designation “vanilla”.

I’ll post more about these as the specific times approach –

Awesome upcoming kink events:

Ongoing: Threat Level Queer Shorts, Chicago
A sex-positive series of queer shorts — explicitly kink-friendly. I heard about these folks while researching the Chicago queer film scene, since I’m curating a new sex-positive documentary film series myself (more on that soon!). I hope to share audience with them and promote each other’s work!

February: CineKink, New York City
“Cutting across orientations, topics covered at CineKink have included — but are by no means limited to — BDSM, leather and fetish, swinging, non-monogamy and polyamory, roleplay and gender bending. Or, frankly, given the current moral climate, as long as it involves consenting adults, just about anything celebrating sex as a right of self expression is fair game. (Far be it from us to define “kink” — if you think your work might make sense in this context, please send it along!)” With luck, I’ll be able to catch the tail end of CineKink on my next New York visit.

March: KinkForAll, New York City
Based on the quasi-anarchist, user-generated, very flexible BarCamp conference model, KinkForAlls are intended to be — well — quasi-anarchist, user-generated, very flexible sex-positive conferences. The idea is that they’ll hopefully start popping up all over the country … and be open to all orientations and kinks, not just BDSMers! I heard about this from BDSM blogger Maymay while emailing around the New York scene, last time I was in that fine city; I’ll most likely present on a variety of topics at the event in March.

May: Bash Back! Radical Queer Convergence, Chicago
A weekend of debauchery, mischief, workshops, games and more! I met a member of Bash Back through my friend Sex, Art and Politics, and they’ve got a lot of interesting things to say. There’s a chance that I won’t be around in May, but I really hope to be here to attend Convergence! If I am, I’ll probably run a BDSM Outreach workshop and sit on a BDSM discussion panel.

And I’ll post more about these as I read them –
Awesome upcoming kink publications:

Ongoing: Bound to Struggle Zine — Where Kink and Radical Politics Meet
“Does radical politics inform how you do kink? Has kink taught you ways to be a better activist or political thinker? Can the non-physical mechanics of kink (notions of consent, etc.) effect the nitty-gritty mechanics of an action bloc or campaign fight? Do conscientious ideas of environmentalism, anti-sexism, racism, able-ism, classism, gender-ism, etc. figure into the negotiating process of your scenes or relationships? How do you talk about power? Where do these ideas meet action and how do they affect our lives?” Editor Simon Strikeback is one of the great people who run Threat Level Queer Shorts! I’m hoping to contribute to future issues.

Available Now: Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape
I just found out that my new friend Hazel/Cedar has an essay in this anthology, and I’m a little starstruck — the book just looks so fantastic! Just one example of the coolness therein was recently linked by Sex, Art and Politics: a wonderful (very basic, very clear) essay on feminism and BDSM, which will probably feature heavily in one or two of my own later blog entries.